Dr. Darren* has lots of holiday tips and tricks! Read his column to learn how to enhance your Christmas season!
Dr. Darren, I’ve got a huge group of people coming for a dinner party in December. I really need to impress these people! What should I cook? —Melinda DeHart, Paris, ID
Melinda, are you ready for this answer? This is very important, so listen closely! It. Doesn’t. Matter. What. You. Cook. Let me tell you why! The trick is not in what you cook, it’s in what you give your guests. I know, you’re thinking, “Wait a minute, they are supposed to bring me a hostess gift.” Well, yes, technically true. However, if you give them a gift—particularly, a gift for the gourmand—then you’ve got this party in the bag. Let me explain. Put a beautiful piece of the Darren Gygi Home Collection at each plate. Choose some mouthwatering images from our kitchen collection—the artistic Olives; the crusty French Country; the creamy Brie; the plump, juicy, Red Grapes—and lay them out for each guest to take home at the end of the evening. This will thrill your guests and make them so happy that anything they eat will taste delicious. Heck, serve cold cereal. They’ll never notice that the Captain Crunch isn’t foie gras. Trust me. I know what I’m doing.
Dr. Darren, should I hang up a stocking for my pet? If I don’t, will he think I don’t love him? —Terri Ann Millett, Holly Springs, Mississippi
Dr. Darren, what should I get my wife for Christmas? I gave her a really expensive toothbrush last year, and it didn’t go over so well. I need some advice. —Jerry Richardson, French Lick, Indiana
Jerry, I’ve been there and believe me—I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy! I’ve got the answer to all of your problems! Drumroll, please… It’s called the DGHC Print-of-the-Month Club. Sign up, and we will send your wife a beautiful piece of the Darren Gygi Home Collection to unwrap on Christmas Day, and then another one every single month of 2017. That way you will not only stay out of the doghouse this Christmas, but you’ll stay out of the doghouse all next year too. Just when she gets mad at you, she’ll get another package in the mail. And you don’t have to lift a finger! Interested? I thought so. Call our customer service team at (801) 372-2881 for more information.
We’ll now excuse Dr. Darren as he is on-call and needs to be available to give advice at the drop of a hat. Merry Christmas, everyone!
* Although Darren has no medical degree whatsoever, he considers his initials (D.R. Gygi) to give him all the authority he needs to be an expert on just about everything!